Books

“Thinking back…I realize that your work (Boundaries, Being in My Body and Self Abuse & The Inner Drama Triangle)… work subtly on me and contribute to steps forward small and large.” 

– Stephanie Brooks, Nonviolent Communication Educator

Being In My Body: What You Might Not Have Known About Trauma, Dissociation & The Brain

In Being In My Body, Toni explores developmental trauma, which occurs when we perceive our adult caretakers as unavailable, as scared or scary instead of calm, present, and available in our very early years.  These early interactions result in wiring that determines what we do with emotions and how our bodies respond to other people.  She shows readers how our bodies are the sacred keepers of our truth and our past trauma.

Drawing on the fields of attachment, neuropsychology, and child development, Toni walks readers through how the body holds the key to unlocking what happened to us.  Once we start to make these connections, she explains what we can do to honor our bodies and allow them to become our most powerful allies.  Toni offers specific tools and strategies to effectively rewire our brains so that we can have the lives we have always yearned for.

“Every sentence of this book has resonated with me, in such unexpected ways. And, intimacy being what it is when I’m scared, I couldn’t know other people felt these ways until you dared to write it down. Thank you, Toni.”   

Ellie Marie Moore, PhD; LCSW, Columbia, MO

Being In My Body offers a way for us to integrate with our bodies, not just to discover historic trauma, but also to obtain daily awareness of what is going on in our lives.” 

– Stephanie Brooks, NVC Trainer, Columbia, MO

“As I read Being In My Body, I felt like I was being accompanied through difficult terrain by a gentle guide who was willing to share her own journey in the hopes that it would help others along on theirs. In my case, it certainly has…” 

– Megan Farmer, Postgraduate Psychology Student, Calif.

“Your explanation of the different types of trauma and how it manifests is masterful!!!  There’s nothing ‘swimmy’ about this work — congratulations!”

                 – Janae B. Weinhold, PhD LPC, Colorado Springs, CO

Buy book here.

Learning to Parent Yourself Well: Self Abuse & The Inner Drama Triangle Handbook

This 100-page paperback is a print version of an online course created by Toni Rahman to help childhood trauma survivors learn ways of identifying and eliminating the defenses they developed as children to cope with the shock and stress of not having their emotional needs adequately met.

It will help readers to:

  • Identify emotional flashbacks.
  • Eliminate self abuse
  • Internalize the parenting (masculine and feminine) that they wanted and needed but didn’t get as children.

Toni gives distinctive voices to Coach (Inner Feminine) and Challenger (Inner Masculine) – providing you with tools and tasks rooted in current attachment and neuroscience research.

The book equips readers with tools when you:

  • Find yourself stuck in internal conflicts about what you want and where you are going.
  • Are so harsh and unrelenting with yourself that you cannot relax and enjoy what you have.
  • Get triggered often or staying triggered for long periods of time.

Check out the online course here.   Purchase the book here and receive a discount on the course.

“Very helpful and informative course that really puts a name to the monster we deal with. Toni is compassionate, kind, and understanding as well.”                                  – Jenny Bennett,  St. Louis MO

“Toni is magical. Her ability to draw the real picture of what is going on into manageable concepts is unmatched. She is able to weave connection in an area that otherwise feels isolating and painfully unique. Toni’s approach is compassionate, calm and freeing.”       – Julie Peterson, Norborne, MO

“Taking this course has helped me reframe my past, but more importantly for me now, helps move me forward to challenge limitations and rethink how I live my life. Thanks for the nudges to recreate my life into something more invigorating.”                                            – Stephanie Brooks, Columbia, MO

Buy book here.

Boundaries 101: Learning to Recognize, Honor & Communicate Your Personal Limits

This booklet stands alone as a primer in boundaries and serves as a study guide for a course by the same name.  The course offers a 5-week introduction on the subject and explains what boundaries are and why they may not be something we feel mastery around.  It offers a simple roadmap for developing boundaries. This study guide includes a collection of readings geared to prepare individuals for further study on the subject.  The course offers basic information and hands-on training to people who may have had trouble setting boundaries and recognizing boundary violations in the past, or for people who would just like to strengthen their sense of Self.

Buy book here.  Contact Toni if you would like to host a group of 8 or more people for a Boundaries 101 Class in your town.

Tahòle: The Politics of Love

Tahòle describes an American woman’s rite of passage while living with an extended family in Bangladesh for five years. It follows the protagonist’s struggles to adapt to the deeply entrenched patterns of codependency in the culture; she ultimately stumbles onto principles that liberate her from the oppression of her own codependency and allow her to create the life she wants for herself.

Buy book here.