11/7/10: In this dream I’m drawing. I go off into this room where I hope the light will be good to draw myself, but there’s a bunch of kids in there. Younger siblings from my childhood? My oldest child when he was young? It turns out to be my youngest sister and she’s older and this is the segue into the big gathering part of the dream. I see someone that could be someone I know but her hair is big and styled and she’s really happy and maybe drunk or altered in some other way. She doesn’t see me, but she looks so familiar I start asking around. Then I see a male, same-age-as-me cousin. He is wearing this costume where he has penises like spikes on a dog collar. I hear him say, “I’ve been screwed.” He has been going through a divorce. He feels he’s funny and shocking but I also see he’s angry and I don’t feel comfortable sharing this joke because it feels to me he’s angry at women in general. I need to stay clear to be safe. There is a dance is going on. I have to go out to the tables because I realize I still have straight pins in my skirt and I need to take them out. I’ll get stuck if I dance in this. Some older ladies approach me and tell me they’ve read my book and would only suggest one small change. They hand me a piece of paper with contact information on it. They feel I should publish in Colepepper’s. I feel honored and I look at a copy of Colepepper’s and I decide I’d like to subscribe. It grips me immediately for the type of material it contains and the spirit in which it is written.
Analysis: The feminine, receptive part of self has been making real attempts to play with the power of creativity. But it has been meeting up with a very powerful diversion. The keystone of this dream is an exhibition of obscene masculinity, communicated by a part that expresses ambition, professional mastery, and making money in a meaningful career, but has some imbalance in relationships, some addictive tendencies, and a hidden issue with discipline and follow-through (characteristics of this particular male cousin). What I take from my life to be represented in this last piece has to do with discipline and follow through with regard to nurturing and fostering the health of the feminine, receptive, creative, “being” self. This underlying, underrepresented part is angry. The exhibition of obscene masculinity outwardly expresses martyrdom, and creates such a spectacle that attention toward the feminine is diverted. As such, the failure to take responsibility to tend to the needs of the feminine doesn’t even appear on the radar. This anger of the underrepresented feminine stems from the feeling of betrayal by this part, and rightfully so, demanding that I (the dreamer) tend to caring for myself and affording time for “being,” relationship, and my creative processes. The dream draws attention to the obscene imbalance recently expressing itself in my life. The dream reminds me to check my compulsive need to work before I allow myself a break, a pause, or some time to just be. Engaging in creative pursuits is also important, but when this becomes a goal that stands in the way of being real and present with people and my self, my NOW experience, and my inner guidance, this too begins to fall into the realm of the martyred masculine. My intention is to nurture my relationships, and slow down enough to be real and present with people and my self, my NOW experience, and my inner guidance. The assignment I have been giving my clients (and what I am using as a gentle reminder today) is to give myself permission to be more selfish, lazy, and irresponsible. Selfish, Lazy, and Irresponsible, are the labels I have used, as our society tends to use to devalue and delegitimize the qualities of the feminine. I hereby reclaim the necessity of this vital aspect of all humanity, with hopes in the future of renaming them with less pejorative titles, and not waiting until I am physically ill to do so.
I’d be happy to interpret your dream for you. The more details you can get down into words the better. So it’s a good idea to keep pen and paper near the bed. Write down as much as you can and send it to me. I’ll probably have a list of questions for you before I can do a final interpretation. Try it. It’s great fun.