Wasted

Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. New York, NY, 1998.

I’m still reading this book, and it has literally sucked me in.  I see all kinds of evidence of eating disorder in my life, but nothing compared to Marya.  I’d like to put it down, but I want to know how she overcame this fascinating, self-destructive addictive lifestyle.  I’ll fill you in on the details later, but you’ll probably want to read this one if you want to know more about eating disorders.

Pg 65: …as we screamed at each other in family therapy, it would be none-too-gently pointed out to us that we fought so hard and so often for a very simple reason: It was the only mode of connection that we could agree upon.  We baited and bit, taunted and tore at each other–but there was a  point of contact, there was an assurance that the other one was there, that they knew we were there, that we were all being given our due moment of attention, that we are all here together, even if we are all here for the sole purpose of picking on each other.  In the absence of tenderness, battle was preferred to the slow backward walk away from one another that silence would bring.  Hatred is much closer to love than indifference.  As I got older, the fighting grew more and more intense, as if we were all afraid of the inevitable moment when our cozy little war zone would fall silent, the small city of our family reduced to the razed fields and burnt-out buildings of separate lives.

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