“Thinking back…I realize that your work (Boundaries, Being in My Body and Getting off the Inner Drama Triangle and even Tahole) work subtly on me and contribute to steps forward small and large.”
– Stephanie Brooks, Nonviolent Communication Educator
Cover design by Trina Brunk
I am in the process of scheduling a book tour for the fall, and speaking/training events for 2017. If you’d like to get on the calendar, please e-mail me at:
Here’s what readers are saying about Being In My Body
“Toni has gifted us with a readable and rich handbook on how to deal with trauma. She carefully weaves well-researched information with examples and healing techniques. Toni stays with you as you read and you can feel her compassion coming through.”
David Richo, PhD: Author of When the Past is Present (Shambhala)
“Being In My Body is a testimony both to Toni Rahman’s personal work and her professional and clinical skills. This book is not only easy to read and understand, but interesting and informative.
“Toni does an excellent job of explaining the different kinds of trauma, which is an important contribution to field of traumatology.
“I found myself feeling comfortable in my own body as I read her book, which told me that she was in HER body as she was writing it.
“Most of all, I appreciate Toni’s open-hearted writing style, and her compassionate approach towards herself, her family, her clients and her readers.”
Janae B. Weinhold, PhD LPC, Co-author of Developmental Trauma: The Game Changer in the Mental Health Profession, Counterdependency: The Flight From Intimacy & Breaking Free of the Codependency Trap
“Toni presents a unique and well-thought-out perspective on healing from trauma and attachment disorders. As a couple therapist whose business it is to put the dyad first, I nonetheless respect the importance she gives to individual healing. Toni offers a comprehensive primer on some of the key concepts for healing that are derived from neuroscience, attachment theory, and somatization/embodiment. And she brilliantly puts them together in a way that creates more than the sum of the whole.”
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a clinician and teacher; he developed A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT), which integrates attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation, and founded the PACT Institute.
“Being In My Body offers a way for us to integrate with our bodies, not just to discover historic trauma, but also to obtain daily awareness of what is going on in our lives. It seems so obvious, but we completely ignore our bodies instead of listening to them.”
“I feel like your book reached me in many different ways. So it was really a privilege to live with it over the last few weeks. I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same about or deal with my body in quite the same way (not that I disliked my body). It has opened new avenues for me to reconsider how I work with my body and perhaps bring out in the open locked memories and finally release them. Definitely serendipity for me at this time.”
– Stephanie Brooks, Business Manager, MSSD
“Being In My Body is a beautiful synthesis of powerful teachings, practices, and stories that have helped me tremendously in my still-unfolding journey towards greater self-understanding, self-acceptance, and embodiment. Toni Rahman has helped me understand the ways in which I experienced developmental trauma, how it has impacted me, and perhaps most importantly, what I can do about it in the present moment. This book has left me feeling empowered, supported, and deeply understood. I have read many books that touch on these topics and themes, and what I found most unique about this book was Toni’s willingness to be vulnerable and open with her readers. As I read Being In My Body, I felt like I was being accompanied through difficult terrain by a gentle guide who was willing to share her own journey in the hopes that it would help others along on theirs. In my case, it certainly has, and I hope that many others will benefit as well.”
– Megan Farmer, Postgraduate Psychology Student, Calif.
Boundaries 101: Learning to Recognize, Honor & Communicate Your Personal Limits
Available at Amazon.com
Tahòle, The Politics of Love
The book is a novel, of course, but as with most pieces of literary fiction, I have drawn heavily on the experience of my own life. Eighteen years ago in May, I returned to the United States with my children after leaving my Bengali husband of seven years, and after having lived with his family in Bangladesh for five of those years.
Tahòle tells of an American woman’s rite of passage in a Third World country, living as part of her extended family in Bangladesh. It shares the passionate love the protagonist, Twyla, feels for her host country. It attempts to depict the country’s breathtaking beauty alongside its filth and poverty with the depth and compassion it deserves.
The story follows Twyla as she struggles to adapt to the deeply entrenched patterns of codependency inherent in the culture. She ultimately stumbles onto principles that liberate her from the disease, and allow her to create the life she wants for herself and her children. Along the way she finds herself; she discovers that she has intrinsic value, free will, and a voice of her own. The story attempts a deeper understanding of the two cultures and all its characters, and suggests not so much a culture clash as a clash between incompatible partners, both doing their best to live their highest truth. The paradox Twyla finds is in how similar—while how different—Eastern and Western cultures really are.
In my practice as a social worker and counselor, I see women and men every day who struggle with the same important questions and challenges as Twyla, and know from personal experience that sometimes the most profound connection comes out of knowing that, despite all the evidence that would suggest otherwise, you are not alone. I invite your comments, your discussion, and your feedback to the story.
Cover design by Trina Brunk
Click on this link if you’d like to read some of Toni’s shorter pieces.